What a Day

David and I spent the night at the hospital last night and awoke to sun shining through our window... good feeling. When we got to the NICU, the nurses gave us the status of both babies. They had a good night, so of course, David and I released the breath we had been holding since we left them at 11:30pm the night before.

Every day I feel a new hope just looking at their little bodies snug in their isolette. I want to reach in and grab them but fortunately have had the wits about me not to. For now, I am content with getting to touch them and occasionally changing a diaper.

Speaking of diapers... David was overjoyed at Jack's first poopie. I, however, had a hard time cleaning his little bottom. You know, that black tarry poop that sticks so badly to them. Again, fortunately, the nurse was there to help me. Back to David... I need to clarify his "joy" over the diaper. Though he was a proud papa because lets face it, men are weird about their bodily functions, it was more than that. He was very happy that this was one less thing we had to worry about. Jack's digestive track is working even though it took a little longer than Ella's.

The big scare(s) of the day came as Ella learns to breath on her own. Though it is normal and will happen regularly during these first few weeks off the respirator, she sometimes forgets to take a breath and the alarms will go off. I can't help but panic and frankly, it makes me cry. Though she recovers fairly quickly and the nurses respond instantly, it scares me. David is the face of bravery and aways has the words to calm me.

This weekend we had several visitors, and we thank them for their company. It is always such a thrill to see their faces as they look at Jack and Ella. It is never of pity or sadness, but of love and hope. There are just so many people that have showed their kindness; I can't explain how much it means to us.

Tomorrow is another big day. Both Jack and Ella are getting brain scans to check for bleeding. Although there aren't any outside signs of bleeding, it is a normal preemie 7-10 day examination. I am terrified. I am trying to be positive, but knowing there is a chance scares me. We decided that we would sleep at home tonight because we will be spending all day and night at the hospital tomorrow. We are both try to keep our minds clear, but I can read David's face... he is worried too.

Besides the scans, Jack is also getting his umbilical line removed and a pic line put in place. We pray that the line will cooperate so that he does not have to have the same surgery that Ella had just a few days ago.

Each day is a new challenge, though things seem to be going well it can all change at a moments notice. They are still in critical condition, and we don't want to take it for granted since the last several days have been all "good" news. David and I have tried to post the good news while holding back on the downs. We are both worn out, but figure if Jack and Ella can fight for their lives every day, then little sleep, continuous pacing (David), living out of a suitcase, and the many tears are just a small thing we can do. Wishing we could do more is frustrating; David and I both would trade places with them in an instant...

However, we are in a great place with nurses and doctors that genuinely care for our beautiful babies. We feel very lucky.