Happy New Year

Kristy and I would like to wish all of you a safe and happy new year.

My last pic of the year is our calendar for January (thanks again to the great nurses here).

Yet another Sunday full of blahs

Day 25.3 is almost in the books and boy, was it a boring one... Lots of meaningless football games, more dreariness outside (as you can see from the pic outside our window today), and a bad Colts game coming up..., but also a calm TOCO line and active heartbeats, so we'll take it. Since things are going so well, we asked the nurse if there was any chance of Kristy going home. Her quick answer was 'no way', so I guess we're here for the long haul.

On a side note, is there anything more annoying than a time-out being called during a last second kick?

Saturday night sushi and football

Kristy is having another good day. 2 1/2 monitorings down. She's even been calm tonight even though Morelli is playing. Thankfully, it's his last season at PSU.

Five days until Jack and Ella's next measuring. Her belly is growing, so hopefully that's a good sign.

Our friends Scott and Stephanie dropped by tonight and brought some sushi and cookies. What a great combo. Thank you. I've been using some free time to play with my camera, so you get to enjoy (or be annoyed) by the increasing number of pictures on the blog.

Kristy and her game

Here's a pic of Kristy playing her game tonight. She's probably getting tired of me taking her picture....

No news is good news

Kristy and I had another nice quiet day. Jack and Ella cooperated with the heartbeats and Kristy's contractions appear to be almost non-existent at this point. I feel odd writing that every day for the last week or so, but on the other hand, there's nothing else I'd rather write...

Kristy's older sister Kelly, husband Joe and youngest daughter Cheyenne surprised us with a visit this afternoon. We feel fortunate to have such a caring family on both sides and are looking forward to lots of babysitting help. Below is a pic of Cheyenne, Kristy and Kelly.

More to come...

The miracle of life

Today was another stable day for Kristy. We're looking forward to more of the same. The crew here at the hospital is going through their holiday cycle, so we're meeting lots of new folk.

We received a special card from the team at the fertility clinic. Below is a pic of Jack and Ella under the microscope on the day of their transfer. They were about 64 cells large at this time. Pretty amazing...

A surreal Christmas

I thought this reflection from our room window captured it...

Christmas visitors

Jack and Ella appear to be progressing well over the last week. Tomorrow is a week towards our next goal of week 26. The monitorings are going well and life seems to be pretty stable. We are very hopeful and after each day, Kristy is less apprehensive. Our doc stopped by this morning and said that she's going on vacation for a couple weeks. She fully expects to see us her when she returns, which is comforting.

Kristy and I had many family members visit over the last couple days. Yesterday, my younger brother Scott and his family (wife Carrie and kids Ethan, Kate and Annie) stopped by for a while and then my older brother Evan, his family (wife Mimi and kids Sam and Ryan), my parents and gma came by about an hour later. They brought us many special gifts and we are very appreciative. Below is a pic of Kristy w/ Ryan and Sam. We're looking forward to them moving closer.



Today, Kristy's sister Kerri and husband Bret came down for a couple hours. Kerri is now expecting her third child (due in Mayish). Of course, Kerri couldn't take the 'we don't need anything' statement and got us some gift cards to the downstairs cafe and Starbucks. Thanks. Amazingly, all three of those heads fit in the picture, I guess it's that wide-angle lens...

Merry Christmas

Kristy and I hope that everyone has a great Christmas.

We received our present yesterday. A great 4D pic of Ella's face and Jack's back. Take a look.

A great Christmas Eve

Kristy and I had a great day today that started with a bit of worry. We were enjoying our lunch from Panda Express when the nurse stopped by with a wheelchair to say that the doc wanted us to go next door to get an ultrasound. This was something new, as L had always stopped by the room. Needless to say, in our anxious little minds, we assumed something was wrong, but Kristy rode over to the office (just a 100 yards or so) for the procedure. In the meantime, the doc and L's daughter Abigail put up a festive paper chain across our room. Once again, our anxiety was unfounded and we definitely appreciate the new decoration.

The second good news of the day came during the ultrasound. Jack showed more fluid than he has since we were admitted. L also put on the 4D and we have some good pictures that we'll post later.

The last surprise of the day came while Kristy was being monitored in the afternoon (which was calm). We heard a knock and I answered and looked out to someone saying 'he has no idea who we are...'. It turned out to be Andy and Kelly Smith. Andy is replacing Kristy's position for this year and Kelly is a teacher at the school. They dropped off some cards from Kristy's students. You can see them (on the cabinets) and the paper chain in the pic below. As you can imagine, Kristy's spirits today were quite high.

In the spirit of Christmas and thanks to Kristy's dad saying that I should post off-the-wall thoughts, I just finished a great book for those that are interested in a thought-provoking, rational discussion of Christianity. It's called 'What's so great about Christianity' by D'Souza.

Merry Christmas.

Visit from the fam

Today was cold and blustery here. I don't think Kristy missed going outside today. Plus, we had a visit from our families. The pic below is (from left to right) her mom, dad, gma and my dad, gma, and mom. Today was also a Colts game, so Kristy had on her (well, actually my...) Colts gear.

Otherwise, it was another normal day, with only 1 contraction so far and positive readings on Jack and Ella's heartbeats. It's amusing watching as the nurses try to get their readings as they are pretty small and move around quite a bit. We are continually amazed at how well we are treated here and appreciate it greatly.

24.2 and beyond

Today, we're at 24.2 and Kristy is still having mostly quiet monitorings on the TOCO. We're very thankful and hopeful that it will continue.

Today, I stopped by the bookstore and actually picked up a book by Jenny McCarthy. We received a recommendation from Marcy and after reading a couple segments, we would agree. Of course, I also picked up a couple more books including another recommendation for St. Augustine's book Confessions. Got to have something besides 24x7 football, basketball, and HGTV...

Last night, Matt and Tammy stopped by and dropped off a basket of goodies for us. Magazines, puzzles, snacks and blue and pink pairs of infant socks for Jack and Ella. Thank you. Below is a pic w/ Kristy.

Til tomorrow.

The new normal

While yesterday's measurements were quite concerning, Kristy is moving forward and thinking positively. The next measurements won't be until week 26, so we will continue to hope and pray that Jack makes good progress over the next couple weeks.

We decided not to take the genetic tests that included analysis for MTHFR, PAI and other potential gene mutations in Kristy. If the tests did come back positive, then the treatment would be heparin. Since Kristy is already taking the appropriate dose of heparin, we decided that it would be better not to potentially raise new fears. Also, who knows what insurance companies will exclude treatment for or raise prices on in the future...

Since the babies are now past week 24, they now get monitored 3 times / day for heartbeats. The doctor team is looking for a normal range, as well as, deceleration and acceleration in the heartbeats as they respond to their ecosystem. So far, Jack and Ella both are in the normal range. Ella's heartbeats vary quite a bit more as she is more active. Below is a pic with Kristy and the nurse as she underwent the first monitoring session.

Not the news we hoped

Well. We had our ultrasound this morning and the results were concerning. Jack is now measuring 3 weeks behind and Ella is about 2. From the last measurement that was 16 days ago, Jack has grown 9 days and Ella 13. The doctor didn't seem too concerned about Ella, but she now thinks that Jack's loss of fluid may be a chromosome issue. They are doing some research and will probably do some tests to try to determine the cause. For now, we'll continue to keep doing what we're doing.

I apologize for the lack of more detailed information, but Kristy and I are trying to play the ignorance is bliss game and that as long as they're in her belly, we're happy.

Tomorrow is Week 24

Today was a nice and quiet day. Kristy had some stomach irritations, but we think it was just nerves as tomorrow is our 2nd goal and a big one. We'll be at week 24.... Our ultrasound is scheduled for 9AM and we hope to have some more good news to post tomorrow. They will be taking measurements of both Jack and Ella for the first time since Kristy was admitted 16 days ago.

On a side note, my brother stopped by today. He's hoping to get a job with the competing hospital in town. Wouldn't that be interesting...

Below is a pic that I snapped right after Kristy's exciting time out of bed (the once every 2 days shower....) She's definitely getting bigger.

The December calendar

Below is the calendar that one of the nurses here put together for us. Only a couple days 'til Week 24.... Kristy is really looking forward to our day of measurement. Today was another quiet day. The three hours of TOCO's didn't show a single contraction and the ultrasounds / heartbeats were stable.

A beautiful sunrise

This morning we awoke to a great sunrise and knew that it'd be a good day and so far, so good. Below is a pic from outside our window.

A bittersweet end to the first fortnight

Tonight marks 2 weeks in the hospital. For us, it was a very good day. The ultrasound showed improved fluid for Jack and both heartbeats were normal. Also, we've learned a mechanism to get through Kristy's TOCO sessions. Instead of us watching the device and worrying, she plays her Mahjong game and I hang out in my corner with my laptop. We just look every 20-30 minutes or so. Seems to be working so far....

Unfortunately, when Debbie, L and crew stopped by for today's ultrasound, they were noticeably upset. We didn't ask, but I noticed later that room 9 was now vacant. We knew yesterday that all 4 ante-partum rooms were full. Our prayers are with the couple that left.

More Sunday blahs

Today was a pretty blah-filled day, just like last Sunday. The hospital is extremely quiet on the weekends and especially today with the snow that we received yesterday. However... we will gladly take it. Kristy had several contractions during the afternoon, but we're learning that during the late afternoons, she usually contracts. She didn't feel any of them, so we weren't too alarmed. Also, her TOCO's in the morning and evening were fine. The heartbeats were normal this morning and Kristy felt Jack move a bit today, as well.

Four days until our next goal of 24 weeks. Please continue to pray...

All sushi and a calm TOCO makes a Kristy a very happy girl

Today was a very good day. Even though, we didn't get to see Jack and Ella on the ultrasound, we did hear their strong heartbeats this morning. Plus, Kristy's TOCO measurements were negligible today. She had her usual 3 x 1 hour monitorings and just had some stomach irritations, but didn't feel any contractions.

Hedy, from Kristy's school, stopped by in the afternoon and dropped off a Christmas blanket that she used with her son Nick. It was an extremely kind gesture and Kristy is very appreciative. Our 'home' is beginning to feel a bit more like Christmas...

Also, Thad and Bobbi came by tonight with a special dinner. As many of you know, Kristy loves sushi, but has to eat the cooked stuff now. So, Thad and Bobbi brought us some crab salad, soft-shell crab roll, rock-n-roll.... It was excellent and we enjoyed a nice dinner with them.

Even though Kristy was stuffed, she still managed to measure a very comforting TOCO from 9 to 10. We're getting closer to the week 24 goal...

Technology

As surprising as it seems, I'm not a big believer that technology is always a good thing. I would agree that the technology around monitoring and observing our babies has been quite beneficial in determining what next steps to take. I.e., Jack and Ella might not be alive if it weren't for a timely ultrasound. However, it will never replace the human factor that is involved in many situations. For example, tonight, Kristy had a pretty scary evening where it appeared that she might be going into pre-term labor. She had 5 contractions within an hour and the second hour didn't seem to be much better. All we could do was look at the machine and wonder what was going on... Kristy only felt one of them, but the device said that one, two, three... were occurring.

Fortunately, Debbie stopped by during the second hour and as usual had a very calming effect on the both of us. We took the TOCO off, had some dinner and watched a movie (Ratatouille, quite good, btw). After a couple hours break from the TOCO, Kristy put it back on at 9PM.

Amazingly, the hour or so from 9PM on measured nothing. It was flat as a board. Kristy feels fine, is currently sleeping, and we can check another day off, thanks to our non-technical intervention.

New ultrasound pictures

My mom and dad stopped by today and dropped off a couple gifts. A Christmas tree from their last trip to Germany and the picture holders below. Jack and Ella even posed for us today.

Week 23

Today is 23.0

Another relatively uninteresting day. Jack's fluid seemed to have diminished a bit or maybe it was just moved around. Either way, his heartbeat is still strong. We have our next measurement day next Tuesday. This will be when L measures their different body parts and compares them to how big they are supposed to be. Last Tuesday, Jack was measuring a couple weeks behind, so we hope that this trend does not continue. I.e., we hope that he measures about 21 weeks next Tuesday.

Kristy is on the TOCO right now and playing her Mahjong game on the hospital computer. There is an arm that contains a TV, web browser, games... that swivels around the room. We'll post a picture later. It is much easier than having a notebook on her lap.

Til tomorrow.

Ah, lasagna

Curt and Kristen stopped by tonight and dropped off a lasagna. We had nearly half of it gone within 20 minutes. Thanks so much.

Kristy had another couple calm TOCO's this afternoon and evening, after a couple contractions in this morning's monitoring. L came by today as well and noticed that Jack's fluid had increased about 1/2 cm from the last measurement. We aren't sure what a normal measurement is, but Jack's level is definitely much less than Ella's. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss...

I stopped by this morning to hang out with the cats and do some laundry. Poor Lucy misses Kristy's affection, but fortunately, Thad and Bobbi have been exceptionally kind in their taking care of the house and cats for us.

Another day down...

Be anxious for nothing

Is a bit more difficult with this strapped to your belly, but we're trying...

Week 1 Complete

It's been a bit over a week since Kristy was admitted, only 9 weeks or so to go. Kristy is doing pretty well and the scan today was also positive. We love watching them when L comes around. It always brightens Kristy's day. Jack seems to be maintaining his 2 cm of fluid. Also, Kristy had another calm TOCO day. It's now been 5 days of little or no contractions.

I got my camera so we'll post some pictures later this week.

Monday Update

Nothing much new to report today. Kristy is maintaining her status quo and I'm now working from the hospital. Fortunately, Clarian is pretty tech-savvy, so I have all the necessary facilities to accomplish the majority of my job here. We both miss our colleagues and look forward to returning to face-to-face communication.

Kristy is getting used to her new 'normal'. I'm sure she'll detail that out in a later post.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers. More to follow...

Sunday blahs

Today was pretty dreary here. Not much sun and Kristy was sleepy all day. On the good side her TOCO measurements were great and our daytime nurse brought us a December poster that shows our weekly progress. We posted it on the door and Kristy can cross off the days as they progress.

Also, we moved rooms today. We were originally in the set of rooms used primarily for the in-labor patients, so it was a bit louder and had more traffic. We're now in the East 'wing' facing Meridian Street where the longer-term patients reside. The room is larger and our new 'home' has an additional chair and two larger windows. It's the small things...

Oh and Go Colts.

Saturday night update

We had a special surprise this morning. Our ultrasound lady (We'll call her L for short in the future) stopped by this morning with some doughnuts and another stable ultrasound. Heartbeats and fluids are consistent with the past couple days readings.

Kristy's parents came by about 10, so I got to run home and get some chores done (laundry, dishes, litterbox...). It's quite strange just visiting our house. They stayed until Tom couldn't handle watching the Hoosiers without getting Kristy going. Amazing, since they actually played a good game and won easily.

Both TOCO's today measured insignificant levels of contractions. Maybe there is something to this bed-rest deal... Anyways, Kristy is in good spirits and another day/night is done.

Friday night update

Kristy and I are just hanging out tonight watching some sitcoms, glad that another day is almost behind us. The afternoon ultrasound went well. Status quo.... Kristy is learning how to deal with the TOCO. This is the device that monitors her contractions by attaching to her stomach and outputting the results to a screen and print-outs. While it's comforting knowing her contractions aren't regular, having the device on for several hours a day causes some stress. We just sit there and hope it doesn't 'bell-curve'. Plus, Ella doesn't seem to like the pressure and kicks at it. The craziness of modern medicine.... I'm sure Kristy will detail out the experience when she's up to writing again.

We've received many responses and Kristy enjoys hearing from you. She hasn't checked her work email account in a while, so if you'd like to email us, please use my dkokoska@yahoo.com account.

We did received a batch of beautiful flowers today from Liberty. Also, Thad and Bobbi have been taking care of the cats and getting our deliveries for us. Thanks much.

Day 22.1

Today is week 22 day 1 and is starting out well. Kristy had a positive ultrasound this morning. The small pocket of fluid is still there around Jack's legs. Heartbeats were also very strong. Our ultrasound lady doesn't work weekends, so we'll have just the monitor for the next couple days. The doc says to just keep chugging. So, that's what we'll do.

Late night worries

Not sure if y'all are interested in the hour by hour info..., but Kristy had several contractions late tonight. She was a bit worried, but they went down after a bit. Hopefully, we're just learning the ins and outs of her pregnancy. I'm sure it's a bizarre feeling for her to have every motion and feeling tracked... I'm glad she's a strong girl.

Thursday Evening Update

Considering the circumstances, Kristy had a good day today. She was monitored for about 3 hours and only had 1 contraction. Also, our ultrasound lady and doctor stopped by a bit after 5PM and the babies are looking stable. Jack had a bit more fluid and their heartbeats were normal. We are very appreciative of our 'team' here at the hospital. It is comforting knowing that not only are they tremendously skilled, but also that they care about their patients. We are also very thankful that our jobs and co-workers allow us to concentrate on the next several weeks.

I just finished some of Merton's work on Hope (thanks, Scott...) and it seems especially pertinent during these times. So, Hopefully more good news tomorrow.

2nd Night

Kristy slept much better last night. She was actually asleep the entire time between the 5 hour antibiotic drips. Also, they did another ultrasound this morning and Jack's pocket of fluid is staying constant. No contractions this morning either.

Thanks again for your prayers, it's working...

Day 1 Complete

Day 1 out of hopefully many is almost in the books. The good news is that Kristy is feeling fine and except for some contractions before dinner-time nothing has changed. The not so good news is that nothing has changed... Jack's amniotic fluid level has not risen, but as of this afternoon, he still had some around his feet. However, Ella is doing fine. Jack's heart rate did go back up to normal levels, but it appears that he isn't growing as expected. Assuming things go well, they will take measurements in a couple weeks to check.

Thanks very much for your kind words and prayers, they are much appreciated. Kristy and I both can feel your hope. We did receive a beautiful evergreen Christmas tree with a blue and a pink star from our friends Crystal and Amber. Thank you.

In the hospital

Well....I'm typing this from the hospital room. Kristy and I went to her normal appointment this afternoon and they found a problem. Jack's amniotic sac was significantly smaller than last week's and also than Ella's. The doctors fear that an infection has occurred. It's very bizarre because Kristy hasn't noticed any abnormal fluid loss and this was not an expected issue. However, if it is an infection in the uterus, then the chances of them being delivered early is very likely. So, they have given her a batch of antibiotics and are monitoring her closely. Either way, we will be in the hospital until delivery.

There is a bit of hope as Kristy does not have a fever and her cervix is still measuring ok. She has also not experienced any contractions.

Please pray for us over the next several days as it is now just a waiting game. We are hopeful that the worst part will be her being in the hospital for the next 10 weeks.

Week 21

It feels really good saying "Week 21" is here. I have become much more positive with each passing day... it's really going to happen!

Anyway, I wanted to give everyone an update on our last doctor's visit. This time the visit was much better than last. First, my cervix is measuring higher; this time it was 4.74 rather than 3.74. Second, my blood pressure is measuring lower; my blood pressure dropped 20 points... I was so stressed about my last day of school/week 20/sitting on the couch, etc. that I got way too wound-up. Finally, the babies were measuring right on target; they are getting more active everyday.

With the positive feedback, I can continue some "activities." I can continue to drive myself to the doctor's office (yeah - once a week I can drive), I can continue using the stairs twice a day, and I can continue going on one outing a week... (this week is the grocery store, I can't wait). Other than that, the couch is my destination.

Speaking of couch living, it isn't too bad yet. I have gone through some magazines, started one of my books, sorted our Hawaii pictures for the scrapbook, loaded photo shop onto my computer, and napped quite heavily on my first three days off work. I still find myself looking at the clock and thinking about what period I should be in... I guess it will take a while. The good news is that my sub has begun, and as soon as I finish grading Journalism tests, the rest is up to him... what a relief!

I'll post more pictures soon, but I just missed A lunch typing this entry... oh wait, I can eat when I want now, feels very strange.

(Whoops - I was signed on as David... oh well, hopefully he won't mind.)

Uncharted Territory

Today is 20 weeks - 2 days... a place we have not yet been. Let me tell you, it feels great!

Overall, the holiday went off without a hitch. Wednesday night mom and dad visited, and we were able to send them off on their 40th anniversary trip with full bellies the next day (David makes a great breakfast). Kelly and Joe visited Thursday evening and then we got to see Thad, Bobbi and Emma on Friday. After all the visits, it was nice to have some quiet time today. (It sounds like a lot, but don't let it fool you; I was dutifully on the couch the whole time :)

Also, over the last 4 days we were able to put up our Christmas trees. Ok, so David did the tree, but I pointed out were everything was supposed to go. (David is being very patient with me.) I love the tree lights and a warm fire... perfect for a nap!

Some exciting news: David got to feel Ella's head/butt/leg (we aren't sure), but he felt it. I felt something move and then a lump on my right side appeared. I grabbed David's hand, and daddy got his first touch of the babies.

Here is the latest belly pic:

Last Day of Work

What a day...

My day started out with a big surprise from my wonderful colleagues. A couple of the teachers I work with organized a "Happy Bedrest Party" for me. I was so overwhelmed with their generosity and kindness that I almost cried. They had collected magazines, books, movies, crafts, snacks, gift cards, and many other things in two large baskets and had them ready for me as I walked in... I work in a great place, not just because of the gifts, but because they really care. The cards, kind words, and prayers they have bestowed on David and me is incredible.

I guess I should explain the party - today was my last day of work until after the babies are born. Even though I am feeling fine right now, we figured it was better safe than sorry. My days were wearing me out more and more and based on our appointment today, it was the right decision.

I went through each class period with some sadness because as a teacher you build relationships with your students, and it is hard to see them go knowing that I'll likely not see many of them again. The kids were so sweet... if only they were like that everyday. Many gave me a hug as they left and wished me well. I have a great job!

My replacement (Andy Smith) came in for the last hour of the day to get the run down of all things Composition. I felt so sorry for him... this is his first teaching opportunity and here I am rambling on and on. I could see the "what" look on his face, but we only had so much time to get through everything. I gave him my e-mail and phone number for future issues, so I'm sure I'll here from him soon. As I left today, he was sitting at my desk - strange.

Next came the doctor's appointment. I had felt a weird pressure in my tummy several times during the day, so I was a little freaked-out hoping it wasn't contractions. With all of the activity of the day and then this feeling, I was more than wound-up when I got to the doctor's office.

My blood pressure is usually very good, but today it was high. The exam was also not as good as we had hoped. Though my cervix was still measuring in the normal range, it was shorter than before. The highlight, of course, was seeing the babies. I don't want to brag, but they looked perfect. Jack measured 9 ounces, and Ella measured 10 ounces. The doctor was pleased with everything she saw in them. Whew...

So today was very good and somewhat scary, but all in all, everyone agreed that today was a good day for me to stop working. I was told over and over that I needed to spend more time down than up. Also no unnecessary stairs or lifting (a gallon of milk is my limit). Fortunately, mom and dad are coming tomorrow to help David drag all the Christmas stuff from the basement. I officially start my modified bedrest tomorrow - wish me luck.

Week 20

Well, this is the week... The week David and I have been dreading ever since we found out we were expecting. Week 20 is the week that Claire and Gracie were born. Week 20 is the week that I stop working. Week 20 is the week of my nightmares.

It is going to be rough over the next several days... pray for us.

Belly - Week 18

For Kerri, Kelly, and Crystal... here it is:

Jack

We downloaded Jack's picture, so here he is:

Great News Inside & Out

Today David and I had our 18 week appointment, and it went very well!!

Jack and Ella were very feisty and didn't want to cooperate for a while, but finally all the measurements were taken. We looked at their brains, hearts, bladders, kidneys, leg bones, arm bones, and stomachs. In the end Jack measured 17 weeks-6 days, 7 ounces; Ella measured 17 weeks-1 day, 7 ounces. Ella is still on top with Jack occupying the "basement" level. My stomach is huge! It keeps growing out instead of side to side.

The last thing the doctor looked at was my cervix; it measured 5.5cm. That is the longest it has ever been. We were soooo excited. I've been cleared to work until the next ultrasound(unless something happens), so again, good news.

We will now have appointments every week and every time I feel the need... Our whole goal now is stability. As long as nothing changes, we will all be happy.

Our next appointment is Tuesday, November 13... if I can wait that long to see them again.

Here is Ella (Jack will be added tomorrow):

October 23

Thursday marks the end to week 16. So far everything is going well, and we're enjoying my growing belly. However, the thought looms in both of our heads of the approaching week 20. It is one of the those things that sits in the back of your mind, that you try not to let take over all the good thoughts, but it is very hard. Every ache, pain, twinge, etc. sends me into a panic. I had a scare last week... I had cramping that ended-up being nothing but indigestion. I was in tears, and ready to go to the hospital... It is a rough place to be - caught between joy and terror.

Anyway, we had a doctor's appointment today. All is going well and according to plan. We got to see the babies; they look great. My cervix was still measuring long, and seems to have healed nicely from the cerclage.

Since we had a second confirmation of the sexes of the babies, we want to formally introduce them to you:

Our little boy will be named John Thomas Kokoska (Jack) after David's grandpa and my dad. Our little girl will be named Eleanor Ruth Kokoska (Ella) after my great grandma and David's aunt. I know, I know... they are very "old" names, but we like the more traditional route.

Our next appointment is November 6. On this date we will get a full ultrasound complete with a look at all the organs, measurements, and many many pictures.

Week 14 (almost)

We are three days away from putting week 14 in the books. I am feeling really well except for being breathless and very tired. I find myself counting down the days until our next ultrasound. I just can't get enough of the babies. Sometimes I get paranoid and seeing them makes me feel better.

David has been going above and beyond the call of duty. He cooks, cleans, takes care of the cats, takes care of me, basically... everything. I'm a lucky girl!!

This past weekend we were happy to see both sides of the family. Friday, Scott, Carrie and the kids came down around 5pm, and we got to hang out with them Friday evening. It is hard to believe how big Ethan and Kate have become, and that Annie has been with us for over 8 weeks. They were planning on spending the night, but Ethan, being a little boy, wanted to see the helicopter landing in their yard the next day (the fire department was putting on an exhibition).

Bret and Kerri came down Saturday morning and spent Saturday night with us. Somehow David got Bret to mow for him... poor Bret! Kerri helped me with some yard work then helped me decorate the nursery bathroom. It is cute! David and Bret battled and conquered Halo 3 in record time. Of course now they are ready for the next big thing. Sunday morning, after a big breakfast, I was exhausted, so we stayed in and made it a football day.

Tuesday, October 23 is our next appointment. I can't wait!!

It's a Boy and a Girl

Kristy had another ultrasound today and with much prodding from Debbie to determine the sexes, it looks like we're having one of each... Below is a partial video from the ultrasound today with the findings. Apologize for the late posting, but this new Adobe program is a bit daunting to learn. If anyone knows Premiere Elements well, give me a shout.

Update - I forgot to mention the other good news... Kristy's cervix measured 4.7 cm after the cerclage. Much thanks to our doctor team for sewing her up tightly...

A dream come true

Make up your own tagline...

Cerclage Update 2

Well as David said, everything went well on Thursday with the surgery.

We arrived at the hospital at 7am and were immediately escorted to a triage room. Our nurse asked us the traditional zillion questions and did the typical blood pressure/heart rate tests. Next she started my IV. I think the IV was the worst part of the whole ordeal. By the time this was completed, an hour had gone by.

Dr. Abernathy wanted the nurse to check the babies heart beats before and after the surgery, so in walked the nurse with a little Doppler machine. After searching for about 10 minutes, she couldn't find the heart beats. I was about ready to burst into tears, but she said because they are still so small it is hard to find them with the Doppler. They brought in the ultrasound machine and Dr. Abernathy's tech came over from the office, and we got to see the babies. To say the least, I was relieved. They were squirming all over the place; it's no wonder she couldn't find them.

I asked her what she thought they were... she said it was still early, but her guess was that it was two boys. I about fell off the table. I told David that there was only a 1% chance that we would have two boys since both Scott and Evan (David's brothers) have two girls.

After the ultrasound it was 8:45am, and the anesthesiologist came in to give us the run down. She explained what she was giving me and all the feelings I would be experiencing. I got a spinal which is a numbing med delivered directly to the spinal fluid. It numbed my whole lower half (from my waist down).

I walked to the OR at 9am (right on time - which was considerably different from Dr. Gentry). I laid down on the table in the OR, and the anaesthesiologist started my spinal... bizarre. I am not one to give-up control lightly, so being numb from my waist down was a whole mind game.

The surgery itself went really well. I could only feel pressure and no pain which was nice, but I could still see all the sponges of blood on the floor. The nurses kept me entertained, and we talked for the entire hour that the operation took.

I was wheeled back to my room at 10am where David was waiting anxiously. They gave me some pain pills and told me I was stuck there until the numbness wore off, and I could do all the normal bodily functions that I did before.

Around 11am the numbness was wearing off in all the wrong places, and the pain/cramping became unbearable. The nurse gave me some narcotics, and by 11:30am I was happily in dreamland. As I slept, David got himself some lunch.

I woke-up around 12:30pm, and David got me some food (I hadn't eaten since 8pm the night before). The pain had subsided some, so I was feeling better. However, I still didn't have total mobility and the fact that I couldn't move my toes was frustrating.

Next they brought back the ultrasound machine, and we got to see the babies again. This time she said she still thought we had a boy, but wasn't sure about the second. It was funny, during the ultrasound we had five student nurses file in to watch.

Finally at 3:30pm, I was able to "walk" to the restroom and do those necessary things required to leave. We were released and made it home around 4:15pm.

The rest of Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I was restricted to the couch. On Sunday, we went to church and Target. It was great to get out and around!

So that's the story of the cerclage. The surgery went well, and David and I are moving on the next phase of the pregnancy. Please keep us in your prayers because it is the next phase that will be the most difficult.

Cerclage Update

Kristy underwent the cerclage procedure today at Clarian North. We wanted to post something tonight to let everyone know that it was successful. We had some interesting moments that Kristy will detail out later this weekend.

Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers.

Cerclage

Dr. Abernathy called today to schedule my cerclage. We decided on Thursday, September 27.

David and I thought long and hard about the two kinds of cerclages and decided on the vaginal. The abdominal is very risky and the possible complications are very scary. It was a rough decision, but we think it is the best one at this time. Dr. Abernathy said that at this point my cervix looks fine and the length is were we want it to be. She recommended we go with the vaginal as well.

I go in at 7am on the 27th, and the procedure begins at 9am. I will have a spinal (anesthesia) and then the procedure. I will have to lay around the hospital after the procedure for 4-6 hours. Additionally, I'll be out of commission for another 48-72 hours.

Tomorrow we see Dr. Gentry for the last time and will have some more pictures to post.

Day of many answers... and questions

David and I had a nice, long meeting with our specialist today. Not only did we discover what a nice lady she was, but also reconnected with our friend, Debbie. Debbie is the bereavement nurse at Clarian North that took such good care of use while we were going through our trauma of losing Claire and Gracie.

Before we get into the details of the meeting, I know you're excited about seeing those beautiful babies. Today we got to hear their heartbeats and watch them "dance" all over the place. Baby A (Zeus) was a little more active than Baby B (Apollo), but both seemed to be having a great time.

David and I came to the meeting with many questions... after many months of researching the web for anything and everything to do with preterm labor, we were ready. Dr. Abernathy sat with us for over an hour explaining and discussing each item. David and I were very impressed with the way she treated us and made us feel comfortable. We still have some decisions to make regarding our care, but overall we think we know were we're going...

The biggest shocker came with the news that Dr. Abernathy believes I'll be hospital bound sooner than later. She told me that I should prepare myself, work, home, etc. with the possibility that I could be "gone" as soon as November 1. Our mouths dropped... but we'll do whatever we have to do!

We'll post more later, but for now, I'm worn out after the day we've had.

Week 10

Today starts week 10, and I know I've been somewhat negligent in my updates. For those that like to see our progress, I apologize.

Tuesday, the 11th, we go for our first appointment with our specialist, Dr. Abernathy. She will be our guide through the rest of the pregnancy making sure we are doing all we can do to get to March.

Well, David has been taking a picture of my belly each week to keep track of our progress... it is pretty funny, so we thought we'd share the last several weeks with you. Please keep in mind the bruises on my stomach are from the Heparin shots I take twice daily (and not David - ha ha).

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 7 Ultrasound

Today David and I had our first ultrasound.... twins!!

We are excited yet apprehensive about the thought of carrying twins again, but I've already told all the doctors I'll do whatever I have to do to make it a successful and healthy pregnancy. Anyway, David won't let me do anything, so it doesn't really matter what I want (ha ha).

Here are pictures of our beautiful babies:












"Zeus"

"Apollo"

Lucky Number 13

David and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary today. We feel so fortunate to have each other and can only remember two fights in all that time (one over a saltine cracker).

We had shrimp and vegetable tempura as our romantic dinner (and even did a load of laundry as we ate). I got David a humidor and box of cigars, and he got me two dozen roses and a beautiful Peridot ring (Claire and Gracie's birthstone). Take a look:

Whoops - wrong date!

I messed-up on the date for the first ultrasound... it is Wednesday, August 22 not August 15.

Thankfully, it makes my life much easier as the 15th is the first student day of school. However, it will be another week until we confirm if it is 1 or 2 (my hunch, based on the numbers and the size of my tummy already, is that it is 2). We'll keep you posted!!

We're Positive!!!

After two blood tests, it is confirmed that we are pregnant. We got a positive test result on Tuesday, but after what happened with the last transfer (false positive), we didn't want to post anything until we got the second test result today.

Our first ultrasound will be next Wednesday. Not the best day (1st day of school), but this baby (these babies?) take priority.

WOO HOO (David's input)

Claire and Gracie's Stone

Here's a picture of Claire and Gracie's stone that we placed yesterday on their birthday. Kristy's father (Tom) and brother-in-law (Bret) poured the foundation last week. Thanks much.

We hadn't seen the stone until it was brought to the cemetary and were quite pleased with the way that it turned out. We were initially undecided about putting a picture on the stone, but were happy that we did. Now, anyone who comes by can see how perfect they were.

Thanks for your support and pray for us over the next week....

1st Birthday

Today is the girl's birthday... Neither of us can believe that a whole year has passed. We look back at the past 12 months and can only wonder, what if?

It is hard to put into words how we are feeling. We have to believe that Claire and Gracie are in a better place, and they are getting a birthday party like none we could ever give them here. It brings me a little peace as long as I can stop myself from being selfish and think of their needs and not mine.

We placed their cemetery stone today. I'll post some pictures tomorrow (hopefully). It isn't the 1st birthday present we had planned on, but I hope they like it anyway.

Happy Birthday Claire and Gracie; Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you very much!

Zeus & Apollo

On Tuesday David and I went in for our embryo transfer. We arrived around 12:30, I was "processed" and given my arm bands, and we waited. About 12:50 we were taken back to the prepping areas, and I quickly changed into my gown and booties.

Our IVF lab tech (that we like very much) came out and showed us the status of the remaining 10 embryos. We had 1 embryo that was an A+, 4 embryos that were A's, 3 embryos that were B's, 1 embryo was a C-, and 1 was a D-. These aren't exactly the terms used, but it is easier to understand this way. She let us know that the two highest quality embryos were being used for the transfer and the remaining would be considered for freezing. The D- embryo had really stopped growing, so there was no chance of freezing and the C- embryo would be a last minute decision. In the end we ended up using two and freezing six.

Finally it was time for me to go back to the operating room. Having been through it before, I wasn't nervous about the procedure, just the outcome. Dr. Gentry, his intern, two hospital nurses, and two IVF techs were in the room with me. After 15 minutes in "surgery," I returned to the prepping area where I had to lie flat for an hour before they let me go home. This doesn't sound so back except for the fact that you have to have a full bladder for the procedure, so that hour is a killer, but just the thought of the embryos floating around too much keeps you still.

David and I returned home both excited and apprehensive. I was instructed to stay immobile for about 48 hours. This is much harder than it sounds. I have been sitting on the couch with my computer, magazines, Harry Potter, and school materials most of the time. Thankfully, David is very nurturing and makes it as easy as possible for me.

Anyway, back to the most important piece of the this entry... our embryos hopefully settling in for 38 weeks:

I always let David pick out their nicknames.... this time it is Zeus and Apollo (of course there is a double meaning, but I'll let David explain that to you).

Round 2

It has been a while since our last post not because we didn't have time to post, but because it is sometimes hard to share what may or may not be a great new beginning. Let me explain:

A week after school finally let out (June 11) we left for another great vacation. David and I had so much fun, but at the same time we told ourselves it would probably be our last "big" trip before having kids...

Can you guess where this was taken?

I started taking all the hormone shots that go with IVF during our trip. It wasn't so bad because at the time it was only one shot a day.

I had my first blood test and ultrasound on July 5. The 7am appointment was brutal especially after having the family (and Thad, Bobbi, and Emma) over for fireworks the night before. The tests came back ok, so I started the regimen of three shots and four pills a day.

Four blood tests, three ultrasounds, many shots and too many pills to count later, we were ready for the retrieval of my eggs. Unfortunately, I was "ready" two days earlier than anticipated, and David was to be in Chicago for some very important meetings. We worked with the IVF lab and figured out a way around the scheduling conflicts. David left on Wednesday for Chicago (after I finally convinced him I would be ok), and mom came down to go to the surgery center with me.

Thursday was the retrieval. I arrived around 11am and got signed in and prepped. Finally, at 1pm, I went in for the retrieval. They load you with painkillers and nausea meds, so the experience itself wasn't so bad. Unfortunately, you have to sit-up for 24hrs after the procedure. Mom and I ended-up sleeping in the recliners in the basement.

Today I got a call from the doctors with some good news. They were able to retrieve 15 follicles from my ovaries on Thursday. They injected the eggs with sperm and incubated them over night. Today there were 12 eggs still viable, although two had issues with their walls and would not make it. So, after all that, we have 10 fertilized eggs. We will get a call on Monday to let us know if any of the other eggs have faltered. Of the remaining eggs, they will pick the best two for implantation (transfer) on Tuesday, and the rest will be frozen.

I started the awful shot last night (progesterone in oil) and will start Heparin on Sunday. I will do two shots of Heparin a day - this is the blood thinner that will hopefully protect the fetus in the womb from blood clots.

We will be praying heavily for the next three weeks and ask that you put in a good word for us as well. We should know right before I go back to school if we are positive or not. What a way to start the new school year, huh!?!

Flowers for our flowers...

David and I try to come up with different ways to memorialize the girls. Recently we planted a little flower garden beside the house in their honor. Over the years we'll add different things to it, but this is it for now:

In the hospital, Claire had a little purple bracelet, and Gracie had a little pink bracelet. We planted pink and purple pansies to represent this. The stepping stones by the bird bath are that of a butterfly and a dragonfly. We like to think that Claire was our delicate fluttering butterfly, and Gracie was our energetic impulsive dragonfly. I think David is the proudest of the rock wall. After much trial and error, we finally got it both level and sturdy.

Anyway, I hope they like it.

Bittersweet

David and I got the results back from our blood tests... we are positive for the antibodies that cause disruptions to the blood flow to the embryos. Women with high levels of this certain antibody often have clotting problems in their placentas. This can put a baby at risk, because blood clots can block the passage of oxygen and nutrients to the fetus. It also disrupts the makeup of the placenta, making it difficult for an egg to implant. Heparin helps prevent these clots from forming.

Though knowing all this will help with the future, it is like a shot through the heart.

Mother's Day

Well, I knew Mother's Day was going to be awful, but...

David's grandma passed away in her sleep on Wednesday night (May 9). She was 100 years old and had great life, so being "sad" didn't seem appropriate. Yes, we'll miss her dearly, but if there is a way to go, I'm sure many of us would choose this path.

Our flight from Indy to Detroit was delayed two hours, so we missed our connecting flight to Baltimore. Our rescheduled flight got us to Baltimore 3 hours later than expected, so we only got to attend the viewing from 8-9pm.

The funeral on Saturday was very hard for me. I couldn't help but think of the girls, so I was very thankful David was there to hold me up. Every time I thought I was going to lose it completely I would try to think of abstract things (baseball, a fly on the wall, the organist's expressions when she played, etc.). Unfortunately, my mind kept coming back to the thought of Grandma Hainley's tears when she heard of Claire and Gracie. The staff at the nursing home was mad at David's uncle for telling her the news. She cried for weeks... the staff was worried about her health. I hated to hear that she experienced so much sorrow, but it felt good to know that she cared so much for the girls without ever knowing them. During the funeral I couldn't help but ask her to take care of them for me.

Seeing the family again was very nice. However, it was a little awkward. Everyone meant well, but they didn't know what to say to us, so many didn't say anything.

We left Baltimore on a 6am flight Sunday (the wake-up call at 3:30am was brutal). We arrived back home around noon. David and I were extremely tired... I took a nap and when I awoke, I found flowers and a card on the table. The card was from David and the girls.... my first Mother's Day card. I miss them...

Blood Tests

David and I recently had blood drawn for tests for Dr. Gentry. He is checking antibodies in our blood to see if there is a reaction that may cause my blood to clot, and therefore, cause problems with the blood flow to the embryo.

Though normally this would not be the case, I am hopeful that the test is positive. At least then we would have something to "blame" for Claire and Gracie's death and the loss of the last embryo. Also, it is easily managed. I would take Heparin and aspirin through the next pregnancy to stop the clotting.

On the other hand, as much as I want to something to blame, I am having a hard time with the idea that a simple shot and aspirin could have saved our girls. I guess it is one of those situations when the answer won't be satisfying either way.

We won't have the test results for a couple of weeks, so again we are playing the waiting game.

Negative

I went for my pregnancy test Tuesday afternoon. Tuesday night we got good news from the doctor that we were pregnant. We were extremely excited, almost in tears the whole night. We had a reading of 91HCG (anything over 25 is considered positive) from my first blood test. I almost thought that I was hearing things, but David picked-up the phone at the same time and confirmed what I had heard.

I instantly had David dig out the large tote of maternity clothes I got from Kerri and was excited about the prospects of having my belly grow again. David was equally excited and did what Davids do and told many people our good news.

We have two bedrooms that adjoin with a bathroom that we've dubbed the visitor's suite. David purchased a LCD TV and mounted it on the wall so that he can send my mother to her room to watch her old movies. We ordered a futon so that we can have multiple visitors stay in comfort. I even got David to clean off the bookcases and get rid of the ugly faux-wood filing cabinet. I must say that the room looks much nicer. I can't wait to use it when David is snoring so loudly that I have to take refuge elsewhere.

On Friday, since I had the day off, I spent the entire morning going through the maternity clothes, hanging them in the closet, and washing those that needed it. It took me about 3 hours to get everything where I wanted it.

However, our joy was short-lived.

The nurse called late afternoon on Friday and began the conversation with "are you somewhere we can talk?" I knew. The second blood test on Thursday produced a reading of 23HCG. The HCG level is supposed to double every 48 hours... ours dropped dramatically. This indicated that the embryo(s) stopped dividing and were not going to make it. To give you a gauge: Claire and Gracie's first HCG reading was 900. Two days later the reading was 2100.

We are not pregnant as once thought... again.

So there you have it. Our first IVF round has ended with the highest of highs and the lowest or lows. We have two wonderful daughters, but can't hold them. The other four embryos did not sit in a storage container til the end of time, but were loved even though they'll never know it.

Thanks for all the support, thoughts, and prayers! David and I aren't sure were we are going from here, but we will keep you posted.

Third Time is a Charm?

On Tuesday David and I went in for another embryo transfer. I am very hopeful that we will be successful in this current attempt.

The lab nurse said that the embryos were "expanding" nicely. (The embryos are frozen - they take them out of the chamber in the morning and implant them in the afternoon. During this time, the embryos come out of their frozen state and begin their cell division again. This is the expanding.)

Of course, David got the honor of giving these embryos their "names" again, but unfortunately, the host site is having issues with posting pictures. As soon as the issue is resolved, I will introduce you to "Bart and Lisa."

Resolved....

Congratulations

David and I just wanted to send our love and a big congratulations to Jason and Ericka on the birth of their son, Jackson Vaughn.

We are thrilled for the both of you and hope that one day our children can play together.