Negative

I went for my pregnancy test Tuesday afternoon. Tuesday night we got good news from the doctor that we were pregnant. We were extremely excited, almost in tears the whole night. We had a reading of 91HCG (anything over 25 is considered positive) from my first blood test. I almost thought that I was hearing things, but David picked-up the phone at the same time and confirmed what I had heard.

I instantly had David dig out the large tote of maternity clothes I got from Kerri and was excited about the prospects of having my belly grow again. David was equally excited and did what Davids do and told many people our good news.

We have two bedrooms that adjoin with a bathroom that we've dubbed the visitor's suite. David purchased a LCD TV and mounted it on the wall so that he can send my mother to her room to watch her old movies. We ordered a futon so that we can have multiple visitors stay in comfort. I even got David to clean off the bookcases and get rid of the ugly faux-wood filing cabinet. I must say that the room looks much nicer. I can't wait to use it when David is snoring so loudly that I have to take refuge elsewhere.

On Friday, since I had the day off, I spent the entire morning going through the maternity clothes, hanging them in the closet, and washing those that needed it. It took me about 3 hours to get everything where I wanted it.

However, our joy was short-lived.

The nurse called late afternoon on Friday and began the conversation with "are you somewhere we can talk?" I knew. The second blood test on Thursday produced a reading of 23HCG. The HCG level is supposed to double every 48 hours... ours dropped dramatically. This indicated that the embryo(s) stopped dividing and were not going to make it. To give you a gauge: Claire and Gracie's first HCG reading was 900. Two days later the reading was 2100.

We are not pregnant as once thought... again.

So there you have it. Our first IVF round has ended with the highest of highs and the lowest or lows. We have two wonderful daughters, but can't hold them. The other four embryos did not sit in a storage container til the end of time, but were loved even though they'll never know it.

Thanks for all the support, thoughts, and prayers! David and I aren't sure were we are going from here, but we will keep you posted.