This sounds awful, but I've looked at people in the mall, grocery store, etc. and thought, if they can do this baby thing then I can too. Now I'm not so sure... I keep wondering if I missed out on the secret. Was there a 'Baby 101' class I missed at IU? The thing that I do know is... I'm exhausted and totally unsure about most of the things that I'm doing. I guess everyone goes through this, but it makes me wonder.
I have managed only about 3-4 hours of sleep a day (and I'm a girl who really likes her sleep - I used to get at least 8 hours a night and still take a 1-2 hour nap after school). Fortunately the first couple of days Thad and Bobbi relieved David and I for several hours. I take most of the night shift so that David can be super daddy during the day. He cooks and cleans while trying to help with Jack and Ella as needed. I sleep during the small intervals that one or the other are not being fed, held, changed, crying, etc.
Please don't take this wrong, I'm not complaining... I just had no idea what it meant to take care of a baby (or two) full time. Wow - bravo to all the parents out there for your patience and stamina.
I'll back track a little...
Thursday was an incredible day. We arrived at the hospital at 9am and began all the necessary tasks to be discharged. First we fed the babies because, well, they weren't going to wait. Then we met with a guy to train on how to read the monitor Jack is wearing, how to use the Oxygen tanks (the huge stationary one sitting in our kitchen and the portable one), and infant CPR. After this we went back to Jack and Ella's room and yes, it was feeding time again. Once fed, David and I ran down to the hospital cafeteria and had our last meal there (after 4 months we were not sad). Finally, about 2pm we loaded the babies into the Expedition and left for home.
The ride home was scary... I kept thinking that the car seat straps were too tight, that Jack &/or Ella wasn't breathing right, the traffic was too heavy, etc. I was a mess. Once we got home and unloaded the real parenting began. Needless to say, we found out right away that there is never enough time.
Fast forward...
Today was our first pediatrician appointment. Going places sucks! Loading the diaper bag, my purse, two car seats, a double stroller, an oxygen tank, and monitor into a car is not my idea of fun. The drive itself wasn't bad, but the whole process was miserable. We got to the doctor's office and David ran in to see about getting things started before we unloaded. He immediately came back to let me know that the waiting room was empty and that we might as well go in. Of course, once we got into the office it filled up... germs!!
The appointment was like a scene from a movie... both kids pooped their pants and wanted fed as soon as we got to the examination room. Going into much more detail just makes me jittery, so I let your mind go from there.
Another issue we've discovered is that Jack and Ella are way sensitive to baby wipes... their butts are raw. It seems like they went from cute little pink butts to red and raw as soon as the wipe hit them. We immediately went back to the hospital version of a wipe (a wet cloth with baby soap) and are hoping we didn't damage our children for life. For now, we are using A&D ointment (recommended by Thad & Bobbi and our pediatrician) to try to heal their war wounds.
Last thoughts...
Jack and Ella are home. Despite my whines, I am in heaven. David and I have looked forward to this moment for 11 years. Through it all we've been at the highest high and the lowest low. I can't say that I would have written our lives this way, but I wouldn't have changed it either. We got here the way we did for a reason - maybe it was God's way of making sure we were ready, letting us know what was important in life, or just testing our faith. Whatever the reason he planned it this way, we are thankful for what we have and are stronger for the journey we have traveled. And, well, Jack and Ella are home!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Surely I can do this?!
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10 comments:
Oh - I feel your pain. As if you haven't had enough advice, I have some. One suggestion, forget the purse. Get a nice backpack diaper bag, that will free up both hands for everything else you have to carry. As for the raw butts - have you tried the sensitive wipes by pampers? Also - our girls only did well with pampers baby dry diapers - the rest (even other pampers) just caused a diaper rash. Butt Paste works well too. Good Luck and welcome to full fledged parenting - it is great!
Bravo! It's been a while since I've cried reading the blog! Now first of all, I think I speak for everyone when I say that even when you are ‘whining’ you still sound like the most grateful mother on earth! You never need to apologize or justify. Second, the shivers up my spin are still tingling...You just described my first week and doctor's appointment with Nick - EXCEPT divide it all in half! Nick also had really bad diaper rash; ask about jock itch spray - sometimes it's eaiser if you don't actually have to touch the ouchies. I promise, it will get easier…until they start talking ;-)
Hedy
Don't fret.. it does get easier. You will find your rythmn with them. I'm a nurse and it took me weeks till I was brave enough to take my 5yr old and a new baby to the store. Being a parent is hard no matter who you are. But...there is also nothing better!
Nurse Michelle
I miss those sweet faces!
Well, I also feel your pain. Now I only had one baby to take care of, so I can not imagine two!! Believe me though you can do it and it does get easier. Someone told me once and it made me feel a bit better was that your child does not know if you are doing it wrong, eventually you both just figure it out. Funny story so you know that you are not alone. My first day all alone at home with Jackson was AWFUL!! Jason says he will never forget it! He said it looked like something you would only see on TV. Let's just say I was an absolute wreck by the time he got home from work and I can't even imgine what I looked like and it seemed Jackson did nothing but cry all day and I had not slept in what felt like weeks. I was convinced I could not do this and I needed my mom as soon as possible!!! But needless to say, as you have seen we are doing wonderful and life is great with our little man. It will get EASIER!! Take care of each other. Ericka
I had one day with Eowyn that from the moment Sean got home from school, I began to cry and just didn't stop crying for two hours. She couldn't nurse (I thought breastfeeding was going to be SOOO easy...hahaha) and was losing weight. Then the jaundice set in and I had to strap that tiny body to a weird tanning blanket for a week.
I just had to add my own confusing first moments of motherhood to say we've all been there. I was saved by the mothers who I could call like Kim Rowe and other friends who told me I could do this and that she'd be just fine. So what that she had to drink formula. So what that I've watched the movie Enchanted every day for almost two weeks (Ok, so I'm beginning to care a little bit more about that. I hear "True Love's Kiss" in my sleep.). We take every day at a time and each day get so much better. But call me anytime you need just to let it out :)
I have to use hydrocortisone cream for Eowyn's rashes. She has stopped her toliet training...now refuses to go at all on the potty. See, joys await you still!
Love the pictures, Kelly
Kristy, I'm not sure why, but your post made me cry. There is sooo much to do and learn. I have felt that way with every baby, and I don't have two at the same time. I am in awe of all the changes in your lives the last five monts or so. God has been amazing in getting you here, for sure. And I pray that you hang on to that for assurance these next few months. I wish we were closer and could help in some way. We might make more of a commotion thought. :) God has made you strong these last months, and He really does give moms perserverance that is miraculous. We pray for you all every day.
I have a suggestion that works with our boys when we take them to the pedeatricians office - Just tell them the babies are special preemies and that you need them to go back in a room asap, cause they can not be around germs. They always have some where they can take us when I ask. I hope that helps.
Each day gets easier, just remember that God trusts you with these little people because he knows you can handle it. :)
~trish
kristy, your words remind me so much of the way i felt when i first brought mason home. i can't imagine doing it with two babies! all i can say is that in a couple months they will start getting into more of a routine, and it will be easier. it definitely will get easier over time.
Welcome to mommyhood! Repeating some advice, forget a purse - just tuck your necessities into the diaperbag, sleep whenever you can - your housework will wait on you, the babies not so much. My son was alergic to every diaper except huggies. It may take some trial and error to find out what wipes work for your little behinds or just stay with the hospital style wipes. I think there are some out there for sensitive skin. You can take back and exchange unopened packages from the baby showers (or better yet, let Kelly do it. She keeps offering to help! : ) I agree with the call ahead room reservations at the dr. office. Some parents will let their sick kids run around coughing and hacking all over the place and your precious little ones don't need to be exposed.
Kristy, I think every Mom in the world has felt the way you do now - although most of us only have half the stress with only 1 baby. I have to admit I found it really helpful to read the books about child development, especially as they started getting older. I liked "what to expect the first year". And like everyone else has said, you will get into the routine after a while and they will too. Then it will get easier - until they start crawling all over the place that is. My advice, invest in good laundry products, ask for help when you need it, and be sure to take some time for yourself and for your marriage. The more sane and happy you and David are, the more sane and happy the kids will be.
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