Christmas Video

Adding a video of the Will family festivities...

Family Christmas Craziness

The past couple days we spent with my family. It started Friday night with my mom coming down to help out while we prepped the meals (an Italian fest of ravioli, spaghetti, manicotti and lasagna). Everyone was supposed to come over on Saturday at noon, but my dad had a bout with a couple of kidney stones, and mom had to go home to 'baby' him.

Everyone else arrived safely Saturday though Kelly brought way too much dessert and Kerri/Bret had to stop at a gas station on the way to clean-up Keagan's car sickness surprise. Needless to say, we didn't start out exactly as planned, but once the last car arrived... it was lots of fun.

First we chowed on David's excellent food, then we played a board game until Zach & Heather arrived. Once they arrived we started in on the presents. Jack and Ella were soooo excited. They immediately started climbing the mound as soon as they saw it. I think they were so thrilled with all the activity, they weren't sure what else to do.

Once we finished the presents, calmed all the kids down a bit, put babies to bed, and cleaned-up the kitchen, it was off to the basement for Guitar Hero. I'm not much of a singer, but I did my part to help "the band". It was a blast. We ended-up playing until about 1:30am. I was exhausted. We found beds/floors for everyone (10 adults & 7 children) and ventured off to dreamland. Well, at least until Jack and Ella woke-up at 6:45am.

David made everyone breakfast and then mom surprised us with a visit (she left dad in Grandma's capable hands). She came down so that she could give everyone their presents.

We then said goodbye to mom, Zach & Heather, and Kerri & the kids. Kelly, Jack, Ella, and I all took a nap as everyone else went to the basement to play another round of Guitar Hero. Tristan, Jessica & Aydan left around 2:30 then Joe, Kelly, Chey, and Bret left around 4pm.

David and I are exhausted, but very pleased with how everything turned out... We had a great Christmas; Jack and Ella's first. I can't wait until next year (hopefully Dad can enjoy the pictures since I know he hated missing the big event...)

Uncle Bret and Cousin Kaine signifying the first Christmas for J and E


As he noticed from Jack's outfit


The 'fam'


Jack's new favorite toy (a present from Great Grandma Joy)



Jack, Aydan and Ella playing


A rough morning for Tristan and Jessica


posted by Kristy

Christmas Fun

Christmas was a great day for us. The kids were awesome on the trip. Our bellies settled down a bit and the weather turned out great. We even got Jack and Ella home early enough to play with some toys before bed.

Thanks very much for your prayers and support this year so that we could enjoy this Christmas with Jack and Ella. We hope that yours was blessed, as well.

Christmas Break - Part 2

So I'm finally back to about 80%... I've eaten some noodle soup, a piece of toast, and 1/2 a sandwich in the last 48 hours and have keep it all down!! Jack and Ella are still battling diarrhea, but neither has thrown-up for over a day. Yeah!!

Here's the bad news... David has finally been hit. He got up this morning not feeling so well, and as the day went on, he got worse. He has probably slept 20 of the last 24 hours and has only eaten 1 piece of toast. I'm praying that he'll have a fast recovery as we are supposed to go to his mom and dad's for Christmas day festivities. My family is coming down Saturday expecting an Italian feast.

This is our first real Christmas since 2005, so I'm hoping for a little Christmas miracle so that we're all healthy and can have the very merry Christmas we've been dreaming of...

Christmas Break - Part 1 - Everyone's sick

Kristy and I were planning on enjoying a nice, peaceful break with the kids. Unfortunately, Kristy, Jack and Ella got sick yesterday. Hopefully, it's one of those 24 hour bugs...

In other news, we did pick up a nice booster/high chair (thanks to Carrie's recommendation). It works much better than feeding them on the floor.


Plus, we decided to give Ella a shot at the sippy cup. She's not quite ready yet.


We set up an open toybox on the wall. It's become the new, favorite zone in the house.


A couple of the many Ella expressions (the first one is actually a yawn).



If we don't post again before Christmas, have a great Christmas.

What a Difference a Year Makes

December 4th was the anniversary of the beginning of my lengthy hospital stay. One year ago on the 4th, David and I went to see Dr. A for a routine ultrasound and got the surprise of our lives... Jack's amniotic fluid was down to a dangerous level, and I would have to be on bedrest at the hospital until delivery.

Of course and that time, the thought was that we were going to lose both Jack and Ella. It was much too early in the pregnancy to deliver, and there was nothing they could do to add more fluid to Jack's sac. If Jack died in utero, more than likely they would have had to deliver Ella prematurely because of the risk of infection among other issues. You know it is bad when no one in the doctor's office can look you in the eyes.

The next several days were spent in a hospital gown, hooked up to numerous IVs and monitors, wearing extremely uncomfortable tights, drenched in tears, and praying that God would not do this to us again. Thankfully, David was beside me the whole time, and Debbie (our favorite nurse ever) knows exactly what to say even when you don't think there is anything that would possibly help.

As you can imagine, this Christmas has a whole new meaning for David and I. Jack and Ella have completed us in so many ways. They've renewed my faith and my outlook on life. I look forward to every smile, every cuddle, and even the late night feedings. This will be the best Christmas ever!!

Thanksgiving

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday this year... much better than last year's! Here are a couple of pics from the festivities:


This was taken at my mom and dad's house on Thanksgiving day. As you can tell by the picture, there is quite an age gap between the oldest grandchild to the youngest. Of course David and I "waited" a little longer than most to have kids.


This was taken at our house. We hosted David's side of the family the Saturday after Thanksgiving. The ages here are much closer!!

Happy Thanksgiving

We hope y'all have a great Thanksgiving. Jack and I have a lot to be thankful for, including:

A conversation:


A distraction for Ella:


A sister to play with (Jackie learned how to climb too):


And a pair that completes us:

Ella learns to climb, part 2

So, our niece was married today (Congrats, Jessica), but I wasn't feeling very well so I stayed home with the kids. Everything was going according to plan until I looked around the edge of the couch and saw that Ella has decided that standing up against the gate isn't good enough (and yes, she did get up there by herself). Not our best quality picture, but I was a bit worried...


Oh, and Jack does enjoy carrying around books and banging them against pretty much anything.

Ella learns to climb

In the last month, the Kokoska house has changed dramatically. No longer can we just sit and watch as the kids play/roll around harmlessly. Ella is incessantly wanting to crawl over/around and up objects. So... Kristy and I put up some gates in the family room to wall off anything that might hurt them. Of course, that provides a nice mechanism for Ella to pull herself up. Unfortunately, she hasn't learned how to get down, so after a few minutes (or seconds) she wants us to come rescue her.




And people always told us this gets easier...

Prayers Please

In a matter of a week, I know of 3 families that have lost their babies. To Trea, Tiffany and Robin (and their families)...

I know exactly how you are feeling, yet I don't know what to say... Really words are not enough when you've lost part of your life. I remember seeing my belly still so full, but knowing that Claire and Gracie were no longer there. And somehow, as a mom, I was the one that was supposed to keep them safe and didn't. It was like my body was reminding me of it everyday. All the kind words were nice, but didn't fill the emptiness of my womb.

I still miss my girls everyday... sometimes it brings me to sobbing tears, but sometimes it makes me smile too because of the lessons that they have taught me.

I really think David said it best in a note he sent to someone (we love):

This Christmas we are again left with an empty void in our lives as our children are no longer with us. While we understand that there are those less fortunate than us in the world, it's hard to imagine a pain greater than having our children die. What unnaturatility is it that a father outlives his children? What cruel and punishing world would allow an unwanting person to be with child while mine dies? Why should I continue to care?

My first desire is to strike out at those around me. To tell everyone to go to hell, besides, what the hell do they know? This pain is beyond what a normal person should have to endure.

At this point, what options do I have? I can choose to despise the world I live in, loath those beside me who have 'easily' had their children, and hate the stupid people around me who have no idea what it's like to lose their child. 'I understand' is such a simplistic and meaningless phrase that only an idiot should be allowed to say it.

On the other hand, I can choose to love those around me. While the pain burns inside me, I can use that pain to understand the strife that others go through. This brings an empathy that allows me to see the anguish that the poor or the malnourished go through on a daily basis. This empathy can only be seen by those who have suffered and allows us to see those 'others' in a new light and be understanding of their plight.

Don't get me wrong, this pain doesn't go away. In fact, it only burns deeper at times. My children are now 2 years old, but in the eyes of man are now buried.


I don't know the answers for the families that have lost... I can't offer them a rosy world that will somehow spring to life in the next month, years. I can offer them an ear, a shoulder to lean on, a heart that knows the pain they're feeling. It may not be much, but it's what I have.

Superbabies

I can't help but brag about my awesome babies...

Ella is speed crawling and can make it from one corner of the family room to the other in seconds. She is also sitting straight-up and loving every minute of it. Her newest trick is pulling herself up to a standing position. She started by climbing up David and progressed to climbing up furniture and the gate between the family room and the kitchen.

Jack has mastered the crawl as well, though he is a bit more thoughtful as to where he is going (Ella goes over whatever is in her way). Jack is doing the "lean" on his arm but isn't quite sitting up.

We had a pediatrician appointment Tuesday this week, and he was thrilled with their progress. Many things they are doing are age appropriate for their birth age. Our hopes before were that they would be hitting developmental goals for their adjusted age.

At the doctor's appointment we also got their newest measurements. Jack is now 15.2lbs and is at the 50th percentile in both his length and weight (adjusted) and at the 90th percentile for his head size. Poor baby... such a big head for a little boy.

Ella is now 14.8lbs and is at the 25th percentile in both length and weight (adjusted). Her head is in the 50th percentile.

David and I are so amazed everyday at Jack and Ella's progress. Once again... their soooo awesome!!

1, 2, 3 Kokoskas

I'll let Kristy fill in some detail in a later post, but here are some pics from the last couple weeks.





The Costanza Pose


Ella learned how to sit up while I was in Boston

To my first daughters

I'm sorry that I tell people that Jack and Ella are our first kids.

I'm sorry that I never got to give you nicknames.

I'm sorry that I'm starting to forget your beautiful faces.

I'm sorry that I wasn't there for your births.

I'm sorry that you won't be here for Christmas.

I'm sorry that you died before I did.

I love you.

How to get a heavy sleeper out of bed... and more

I think Kristy finally convinced the kids that daddy should get up with the overnight feeding. Usually, I sleep right through the crying and talking, but a couple nights ago, I heard 'I want dada dada dada'...'dada dada dada'. How can you resist that?

The last couple weeks have been incredible for us. The kids are starting to do normal activities, which seem amazing to us. Ella has really gotten the hang of crawling and loves when she has an audience to show off her new found abilities. Jackie is even more animated than ever. While Ella has more physical prowess, he understands his name and responds eagerly to our chatter. Plus he finally decided to show his eye color (the green outfit helps...).



While Ella still has the baby blues.


Jack decided that he likes mac n' cheese


Not so much for Ella


This fall we discovered several wild pansies growing in the yard. The first couple were in the girls' garden. Purple and pink were their colors.



We've never planted white pansies anywhere in the yard, but yet here they are... We think they're looking out for their siblings.

Off the Wall Thoughts

On my bulletin board by my desk at school I have little messages posted to myself... here are a couple:

I've learned that
-it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that
-it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that
-you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that
-you can keep going long after you can't.

The last one keeps me going when I'm having a "bad" day remembering the girls. I don't know what keeps us going when we just know that we can't... but I hope it never stops.

If 6 Was 9

I think Jimi got it right, when he said:

Now if 6 turned out to be 9,
I don't mind, I don't mind

The kids turned 9 months today and 6 months last Friday. It's been great watching them 'catch up' and Ella surprised us tonight by deciding to crawl. Take a look.

Jack in Black

Modeling this year's PSU gear




Hangin' with Great Grandma K


and Grandma W

The Yawn

Teeth, Crawling, and New Facial Expressions

Things have been changing around the house lately... It seems like that in the last week Jack and Ella have decided to leap ahead.

Jack now has two teeth coming in and doesn't seem to mind at all. He can easily get on his hands and knees, but hasn't figured out how to move forward (yet). Jack has also discovered that he can make all kinds of noises and shapes with his lips. He is sooooo cute. He will look at us so intently and try to copy all of our facial gestures. The only time this isn't cute is when I'm trying to feed him, and he spits his food all over me (motor boat style).

Ella has little bumps in her mouth, but the teeth haven't broken the surface. She was very irritable today and last night, so I'm guessing this is her way of telling us something is up. Ella is on the verge of crawling. She can move herself backwards easily, but going forward is labored. She will be on all fours and lunge forward falling on her face. She doesn't seem to mind because she is quickly up on all fours again. I guess gates are in the near future for the Kokoska household.

Both kids continue to "talk" and make those adorable cooing sounds. They tend to be the most talkative in the mornings and when David gets home from work. It is so cute to see them light-up when he walks in the door. Both instantly begin to "tell" him all about their days. I love it...

Hats

We've found that the kids look cute in hats. Also, since it's been a few weeks since we've posted pics, so here are a few more...





Ella's new hat from Slovakia. Thanks, Grandma


And Jackie got one too.


Mom gets in on the hat action


Jack the calm and Ella the exciter






Puppy-dog eyes



And Kristy says they're blue...