To my first daughters

I'm sorry that I tell people that Jack and Ella are our first kids.

I'm sorry that I never got to give you nicknames.

I'm sorry that I'm starting to forget your beautiful faces.

I'm sorry that I wasn't there for your births.

I'm sorry that you won't be here for Christmas.

I'm sorry that you died before I did.

I love you.

How to get a heavy sleeper out of bed... and more

I think Kristy finally convinced the kids that daddy should get up with the overnight feeding. Usually, I sleep right through the crying and talking, but a couple nights ago, I heard 'I want dada dada dada'...'dada dada dada'. How can you resist that?

The last couple weeks have been incredible for us. The kids are starting to do normal activities, which seem amazing to us. Ella has really gotten the hang of crawling and loves when she has an audience to show off her new found abilities. Jackie is even more animated than ever. While Ella has more physical prowess, he understands his name and responds eagerly to our chatter. Plus he finally decided to show his eye color (the green outfit helps...).



While Ella still has the baby blues.


Jack decided that he likes mac n' cheese


Not so much for Ella


This fall we discovered several wild pansies growing in the yard. The first couple were in the girls' garden. Purple and pink were their colors.



We've never planted white pansies anywhere in the yard, but yet here they are... We think they're looking out for their siblings.

Off the Wall Thoughts

On my bulletin board by my desk at school I have little messages posted to myself... here are a couple:

I've learned that
-it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that
-it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that
-you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that
-you can keep going long after you can't.

The last one keeps me going when I'm having a "bad" day remembering the girls. I don't know what keeps us going when we just know that we can't... but I hope it never stops.

If 6 Was 9

I think Jimi got it right, when he said:

Now if 6 turned out to be 9,
I don't mind, I don't mind

The kids turned 9 months today and 6 months last Friday. It's been great watching them 'catch up' and Ella surprised us tonight by deciding to crawl. Take a look.

Jack in Black

Modeling this year's PSU gear




Hangin' with Great Grandma K


and Grandma W

The Yawn