Claire and Gracie's Stone

Here's a picture of Claire and Gracie's stone that we placed yesterday on their birthday. Kristy's father (Tom) and brother-in-law (Bret) poured the foundation last week. Thanks much.

We hadn't seen the stone until it was brought to the cemetary and were quite pleased with the way that it turned out. We were initially undecided about putting a picture on the stone, but were happy that we did. Now, anyone who comes by can see how perfect they were.

Thanks for your support and pray for us over the next week....

1st Birthday

Today is the girl's birthday... Neither of us can believe that a whole year has passed. We look back at the past 12 months and can only wonder, what if?

It is hard to put into words how we are feeling. We have to believe that Claire and Gracie are in a better place, and they are getting a birthday party like none we could ever give them here. It brings me a little peace as long as I can stop myself from being selfish and think of their needs and not mine.

We placed their cemetery stone today. I'll post some pictures tomorrow (hopefully). It isn't the 1st birthday present we had planned on, but I hope they like it anyway.

Happy Birthday Claire and Gracie; Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you very much!

Zeus & Apollo

On Tuesday David and I went in for our embryo transfer. We arrived around 12:30, I was "processed" and given my arm bands, and we waited. About 12:50 we were taken back to the prepping areas, and I quickly changed into my gown and booties.

Our IVF lab tech (that we like very much) came out and showed us the status of the remaining 10 embryos. We had 1 embryo that was an A+, 4 embryos that were A's, 3 embryos that were B's, 1 embryo was a C-, and 1 was a D-. These aren't exactly the terms used, but it is easier to understand this way. She let us know that the two highest quality embryos were being used for the transfer and the remaining would be considered for freezing. The D- embryo had really stopped growing, so there was no chance of freezing and the C- embryo would be a last minute decision. In the end we ended up using two and freezing six.

Finally it was time for me to go back to the operating room. Having been through it before, I wasn't nervous about the procedure, just the outcome. Dr. Gentry, his intern, two hospital nurses, and two IVF techs were in the room with me. After 15 minutes in "surgery," I returned to the prepping area where I had to lie flat for an hour before they let me go home. This doesn't sound so back except for the fact that you have to have a full bladder for the procedure, so that hour is a killer, but just the thought of the embryos floating around too much keeps you still.

David and I returned home both excited and apprehensive. I was instructed to stay immobile for about 48 hours. This is much harder than it sounds. I have been sitting on the couch with my computer, magazines, Harry Potter, and school materials most of the time. Thankfully, David is very nurturing and makes it as easy as possible for me.

Anyway, back to the most important piece of the this entry... our embryos hopefully settling in for 38 weeks:

I always let David pick out their nicknames.... this time it is Zeus and Apollo (of course there is a double meaning, but I'll let David explain that to you).

Round 2

It has been a while since our last post not because we didn't have time to post, but because it is sometimes hard to share what may or may not be a great new beginning. Let me explain:

A week after school finally let out (June 11) we left for another great vacation. David and I had so much fun, but at the same time we told ourselves it would probably be our last "big" trip before having kids...

Can you guess where this was taken?

I started taking all the hormone shots that go with IVF during our trip. It wasn't so bad because at the time it was only one shot a day.

I had my first blood test and ultrasound on July 5. The 7am appointment was brutal especially after having the family (and Thad, Bobbi, and Emma) over for fireworks the night before. The tests came back ok, so I started the regimen of three shots and four pills a day.

Four blood tests, three ultrasounds, many shots and too many pills to count later, we were ready for the retrieval of my eggs. Unfortunately, I was "ready" two days earlier than anticipated, and David was to be in Chicago for some very important meetings. We worked with the IVF lab and figured out a way around the scheduling conflicts. David left on Wednesday for Chicago (after I finally convinced him I would be ok), and mom came down to go to the surgery center with me.

Thursday was the retrieval. I arrived around 11am and got signed in and prepped. Finally, at 1pm, I went in for the retrieval. They load you with painkillers and nausea meds, so the experience itself wasn't so bad. Unfortunately, you have to sit-up for 24hrs after the procedure. Mom and I ended-up sleeping in the recliners in the basement.

Today I got a call from the doctors with some good news. They were able to retrieve 15 follicles from my ovaries on Thursday. They injected the eggs with sperm and incubated them over night. Today there were 12 eggs still viable, although two had issues with their walls and would not make it. So, after all that, we have 10 fertilized eggs. We will get a call on Monday to let us know if any of the other eggs have faltered. Of the remaining eggs, they will pick the best two for implantation (transfer) on Tuesday, and the rest will be frozen.

I started the awful shot last night (progesterone in oil) and will start Heparin on Sunday. I will do two shots of Heparin a day - this is the blood thinner that will hopefully protect the fetus in the womb from blood clots.

We will be praying heavily for the next three weeks and ask that you put in a good word for us as well. We should know right before I go back to school if we are positive or not. What a way to start the new school year, huh!?!

Flowers for our flowers...

David and I try to come up with different ways to memorialize the girls. Recently we planted a little flower garden beside the house in their honor. Over the years we'll add different things to it, but this is it for now:

In the hospital, Claire had a little purple bracelet, and Gracie had a little pink bracelet. We planted pink and purple pansies to represent this. The stepping stones by the bird bath are that of a butterfly and a dragonfly. We like to think that Claire was our delicate fluttering butterfly, and Gracie was our energetic impulsive dragonfly. I think David is the proudest of the rock wall. After much trial and error, we finally got it both level and sturdy.

Anyway, I hope they like it.